If This Is You... STOP IT! Thats Just Annoying!

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Tell them all the ways their life is great and how they have nothing to complain about so they should probably stop doing so before they really have something terrible happen. Also, it gives you an excuse to ignore them. Just zone out.


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Think about something that makes you really happy, or just make jokes about the people who are annoying you in your mind … but keep them in your mind. Just tell them that they are annoying. My best friend and I do this, and it works beautifully. But for other instances, just tell them: you are not fat. Your life is not that bad.

Can I step in front of you? Why are you so angry all the time? Why do you feel the need to share and express your political opinions on Facebook so frequently? Show them how they are annoying. This is sometimes the only thing to do when telling them that they are annoying fails.

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Give them a little taste of their own medicine. It will be a wake up call. This is a classic kind of annoying person… the one who is always looking to one-up you. Just let them win. Understand what you have to stomach. This applies to people like your boss, too. You need to keep your job and respect your family.

Play their game. I told her I did it in response to her. She was shocked at how frequently she prompted me to do that, and the situation was resolved. Reblogged this on Never Stationary. Others unfair parking ticket, public rudeness may send you halfway up the steps. And bigger situations a blow-up with a family member, being denied a promotion at work may require the collective effort of them all before it is defused. You may also find it more effective to change the order, or a step itself.

At the first moment you realize you are experiencing annoyance or anger, just breathe. Ten slow, deep, even breaths do wonders. Sometimes, the annoyance will have passed in just that time. Even if it hasn't, the breaths still help. Diaphragmatic or abdominal as opposed to shallow breaths, in which you breathe from deeper inside your belly and fill your lungs, deliver more oxygen to your body, which stabilizes blood pressure and helps invoke your body's relaxation response. What's in your mantra? It may help to add a mantra "I have the patience of the Buddha" is one I like to use when the kids' bedtime-delaying tactics are keeping me from relaxing on the couch or a calming image to hold in your mind.

I sometimes accompany my 10 breaths with a memory of a surfer I once watched paddling into the sunset of the Pacific Ocean. He is often capable of pulling my annoyance out to sea with him. If the breaths don't make a dent, try explaining what's happening to yourself. Articulating the issue changes your response from emotion to logic. The explanation itself may be all you need, either because it creates an even longer mental break from the situation than just breathing or because when you say it to yourself, it makes more sense.

It may even sound petty or even funny. Make use of this step when another person is part of the reason you are upset. Try hard to see the situation from their reality and invent a subjective theory for why they did what they did. Your theory will probably be rooted in a cause that's benign or about them, not you. Next time someone cuts you off in traffic, maybe you can think about an emergency that might be affecting their behavior. Think beyond the annoyance, or annoying person, and focus on your own behavior.

By thinking of how you can be a model for grace under pressure, you help yourself to become one. What would the most diplomatic, logically thinking version of yourself do next? Do that. Change, the double-edged sword that's worth mastering. Whatever it is that is getting your goat, it is temporary and manageable.

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You won't always feel this way. It's just a question of how long. Acknowledging that your annoyance is finite and in your control, and that the winds of change will blow again in your favor sooner or later , helps frame the scope of the problem, no matter how large. How important is the matter upsetting you? How does it stack up against the things in life that you know matter?

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What is important loved ones are a good example can be the antidote to what troubles you now -- as long as you can bring them to mind in this moment. Turn your attention in that direction, and you won't just be distracted but connected to something more important that brings you happiness. Scrolling through the photo stream on your phone is a quick way to do this. Whatever the annoyance, make a joke about it, even if it's a bad one. If you can find some grain of humor in the situation, smiling, laughing and even being silly can all defuse anger and annoyance.

It's not psychologically possible to experience two emotions at once. This technique is great when my child is making me wait to brush her teeth because she "has" to brush her stuffed penguin's teeth first. Even if you're not feeling it, the fake-it-until-you-make-it trick of smiling to boost happiness really works.

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If you've made it this far up the steps and you are still really peeved, here's a good if seemingly obvious question to ask yourself: "Is there something I can do to make it better? If you can then come up with a successful solution, so much the better. You will be the agent of change that fixes the situation and discover that you have more power than you think. Just pause to make sure your solution won't create another problem. Hint: Sleep on that angry email response. If you can't come up with anything, that's useful, too. Knowing that you can't change something is the first step in accepting it.

Cue the Serenity Prayer. In the future, it is possible that you will see this particular anger-causing situation differently. Look at past problems and see how they've been a catalyst for change or even a blessing in disguise.

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